One of the best ways to conquer negative self evaluations is to challenge or dispute them using a Thought Diary. This can be done by identifying our negative self evaluations and challenging our negative self evaluations, and developing more balanced self evaluations.
By the way, when our rules or assumptions (unhelpful) are broken or about to broke negative self evaluations happened to us.
When we use thought dairy for negative self evaluation?
Whenever we notice ourselves-
• feeling down, or sad, or depressed, or feeling guilty or hopeless,
• we have the sense that we are being hard on ourselves, telling ourselves off,
• And criticizing ourselves and your abilities.
How we can be benefited by thought dairy for negative self evaluation?
We should stop ourselves when we notice these sorts of feelings by the thought diary, as in the thought diary we will be able to see if we can find the specific negative self evaluations that are influencing our feelings.
Thought Diary will help to undertake that negative thought or evaluation.
If you can keep using a thought Diary for long period to deal with these types of negative thoughts and feelings, until it becomes second nature.
Then you will find that you can easily catch the negative self evaluations in your head and challenge them in your head. This will take some time and a lot of practice, so for now, stick to writing it all down in your Thought Diary.
Case study-of Jhon
His answers in his thought Diary for Negative Self Evaluations.
What is the at-risk situation for john?
john Cancelled dinner with a friend due to work commitments
What am I saying to myself? How am I evaluating myself, putting 85%
myself down, or criticizing myself?
I am a useless and pathetic friend; I don’t deserve to have friends; I shouldn’t let other people down; I am always being selfish; they are better off without a friend like me.
How much do I believe theseevaluations of myself (0-100%)?
What am I saying to myself? How am I evaluating myself, putting
85%
What emotion(s) am I feeling? (Rate the intensity 0-100%)
Guilt (90%); Depressed (70%)
What unhelpful behaviors did I engage in?
I apologized profusely to my friend and said that I had been a really pathetic friend to her. I
also said that I would pay for our next outing and re-scheduled to a time that wasn’t quite
convenient for me.
What is the evidence for my evaluations?
I disappointed a friend by cancelling our dinner. This is not the first time I have disappointed a friend.
What is the evidence against my evaluations?
I only cancelled for a very good reason. If I could have made it to dinner, I would have. Most of the time I am very considerate with all of my friends. I never intentionally hurt my friends. People have told me I am a valued friend.
Are these opinions I have of myself or facts? It’s probably an opinion, not a fact.
How helpful is it for me to evaluate myself in this way?
It is pretty unfair to beat myself up for something that was mostly beyond my control. It just
makes me feel really bad and like I have to overcompensate for being a “bad friend”.
How else could I view the situation? What are other perspectives are there?
Things will often interfere with plans we make, it is a fact of life. It happens to everyone.
Cancelling dinner with a friend due to work commitments doesn’t make me a bad friend.
You can’t please everyone all the time – that’s impossible. If the tables were turned and my
friend did this to me, I wouldn’t think badly of them. As long as I show I care and want to
still go out with them, then I am being a good friend.
What advice would I give to a friend in this same situation?
If they are a real friend, they will understand and get over it. They won’t think badly. If they
are disappointed it is probably because they think you are a good friend and want to spend
time with you. Being disappointed about not spending time with you doesn’t mean they think
you are a bad friend, or are upset with you as a person.
What would be more helpful behavior I could carry out?
Instead of being overly apologetic and overly keen to make it up, I can just explain the
Circumstances, apologies once or even twice, and re-schedule our plans for a time that suits us
both. I don’t have to grovel or bend over backwards to prove I am a good friend.
A more balanced evaluation of myself is:
I am being the best friend I can be under the circumstances. My friends have told me they
value me, that must mean I am a good friend. I am generally considerate to my friends and
never set out to hurt people. Disappointing this friend was beyond my control. Unfortunately,
you can’t make everyone happy all the time.
How much do I believe my original
negative self-evaluation now (0-100%) 35%
How intense are my emotions now (0-100%)?
Guilt (45%); Depressed (20%)
hero and love fictional story as they have a lot of imagination to put ourselves in the characters shoe and it is true Specially for kids. kids imagine As if they are in the story or they are the hero or heroin. this is why, They can be easily motivated to be better person with a good story and it is one of the best self esteem lessons for kids.
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