How to say no politely or in different ways!!

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Here we will know-

  • Why feel bad when we Say “No”?
  • And how to change this feeling?
  • How to say no politely or How to say no in different ways?

Think about a hypothetical situation for a moment,  say you have a beautiful brand new red car which you bought few weeks ago. You like that car very much. This car is like your girlfriend (or boyfriend )……….Now one of your friends asked you , please give this car for one day only ?

but you do not want to share your car.Will you tackle this problem easily or will you feel uncomfortable when saying no?

Some people might say “Yes” when they really mean “No”. bitterness and anger can build up towards the person they have said “Yes” to, even though that person have done nothing wrong.

Beside that, they might become more annoyed and upset with themselves. Moreover, if anyone continue this behavior for long time , it may affect their self esteem badly and lead to

depression and anxiety.

And Some other people might say “No” but in an aggressive manner without being polite or respect for the other person. This may result in people disliking them for being angry and rude.

22205084 f71eb5e51f How to say no politely or in different ways!!In Both cases those people are finding need to have better solution for these type of situation.

Here we will know how to say ‘no’ politely. Before that we should know the reason to say no.

Why feel bad when we Say “No”?

it is hard to say no because of our negative thinking about Saying “no” –

say, we might think, if I say ‘no’ to others proposal

  • its rude . unkind, uncaring or selfish. it will hurt and upset others and make them feel rejected.
  • my friend won’t like me anymore. Saying “no” over little things is small minded and petty. Other’s needs are more important than mine. I should always try and please others and be helpful.

how to change this feeling?

There may be lot other reasons..And those are just thoughts or opinions. So we can change these thoughts and have some good or positive thoughts like

  • Other people have the right to ask and I have the right to refuse. When I say “no” I am refusing a request, not rejecting a person. We always have a choice and we are constantly making choices.
  • People who have difficulty saying no usually overestimate the difficulty that the other person will have in accepting the refusal. We are not trusting that they can cope with hearing “no”. By expressing our feelings openly and honestly, it actually liberates the other person to express their feelings. By saying “no” to somebody it allows them to say “no” to your requests while still being able to ask for further requests.

Now let’s come to our main discussion,

How to say no in different ways? or How to say no politely?

Below there are few tips –

  • Be straightforward and honest but not rude so that you can make the point effectively.
  • As a rule keep it brief.
  • Tell the person if you are finding it difficult
  • Be polite – say something like “thank you for asking…”
  • Speak slowly with warmth otherwise “no” may sound abrupt.
  • Don’t apologies and give elaborate reasons for saying “no”. It is your right to say no if you don’t want to do things.
  • Remember that it is better in the long run to be truthful than breed resentment and bitterness within yourself.
  • When saying “no” take responsibility for it. Don’t blame or make excuses. For instance do not tell “I can’t…” but tell “I don’t want to…….”

you may like to go home page of self esteem from How to say no in different ways or politely article page.

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6 Comments


  1. Excellent Article. Its really help me a lot

    • @Jazz sometime i also face this ‘saying no’ problems. :) but its worth saying no than suffer afterward for saying yes or accepting the unwanted proposal…

      though, the youtube video in this post is very old …
      this video has ..more helpful tips for young people about saying-no in different social situations .. however tips are appropriate for all ages too.. i think

    • Great article i love it. Really an eye opener. never knew there were so many ways to say no politely :)

  2. Thank you Hirabd for the tips on saying no. they are very helpful to me.
    But just a question: why do you suggest not to apologize when saying no? because I think when we apologize it’s more polite and friendly. it implies that I apologize for possibly hurting your feelings or rejecting you. For example which one do you think sounds better:

    Sorry, but I can’t lend you my car.

    I find it difficult to lend you my car.

    • @ Nabi, thank you for the comment. you raised a good question.

      you wanted to know, why do i suggest not to apologize when saying no?

      we already know its harder to say ‘no’ to a close friends than others.

      we apologize to our friends as we think, its rude . unkind, uncaring or selfish. it will hurt and upset our friends and make them feel rejected. maybe we can think, my friend may not like me anymore.

      but reality is opposite,

      my friends have the right to ask and I have the right to refuse. When I say “no” I am refusing a request, not rejecting a person.

      when we express our feelings openly and honestly, it actually liberates the other person to express their feelings. By saying “no” to our friends allows them to say “no” to our requests while still being able to ask for further requests.

      please see the above video also to get some ideas, what can we tell to our friends without hurting their feelings.

      thank you

      keep in touch
      shahriyar, admin

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