Thought Diary For Grown Up-With A Case Study-Module4

One of the best ways to conquer negative self evaluations is to challenge or dispute them using a Thought Diary. This can be done by identifying our negative self evaluations and challenging our negative self evaluations, and developing more balanced self evaluations.   

By the way, when our rules or assumptions (unhelpful) are broken or about to broke negative self evaluations happened to us.   

When we should use the thought dairy ?   

Whenever we notice ourselves-   

• feeling down, or sad, or depressed, or feeling guilty or hopeless,
• we have the sense that we are being hard on ourselves, telling ourselves off,
• And criticizing ourselves and your abilities.   

How we can be benefited by thought dairy for negative self evaluation?   

Thought Diary will help to undertake that negative thought or evaluation.
If you can keep using a thought Diary for long period to deal with these types of negative thoughts and feelings, until it becomes second nature.   

Then you will find that you can easily catch the negative self evaluations in your head and challenge them in your head without need of a thought diary. This will take some time and a lot of practice..  

so for now, stick to writing it all down in your Thought Diary.  

Case study-of Jhon   

John’s Answers in His Thought Diary  for Negative Self Evaluations.   

 What is the at-risk situation for john?  

   

John Cancelled dinner with a friend due to work commitments   

    

What am I saying to myself?   

myself down, or criticizing myself?   

I am a useless and pathetic friend; I don’t deserve to have friends; I shouldn’t let other people down; I am always being selfish; they are better off without a friend like me.   

How much do I believe theseevaluations of myself (0-100% scale)?   

What am I saying to myself? How am I evaluating myself, putting   

What emotion(s) am I feeling? (Rate the intensity 0-100% scale)   

Guilt (90%); Depressed (70%)   

What unhelpful behaviors did I engage in?   

I apologized profusely to my friend and said that I had been a really pathetic friend to her. I   

also said that I would pay for our next outing and re-scheduled to a time that wasn’t quite   

convenient for me.   

    

What is the evidence for my evaluations?   

I disappointed a friend by cancelling our dinner. This is not the first time I have disappointed a friend.   

    

What is the evidence against my evaluations?   

I only cancelled for a very good reason. If I could have made it to dinner, I would have. Most of the time I am very  considerate with all of my friends. I never intentionally hurt my friends. People have told me I am a valued friend.   

    

Are these opinions I have of myself or facts? It’s probably an opinion, not a fact.   

How helpful is it for me to evaluate myself in this way?   

It is pretty unfair to beat myself up for something that was mostly beyond my control. It just   

makes me feel really bad and like I have to overcompensate for being a “bad friend”.   

    

How else could I view the situation? What are other perspectives are there?   

Things will often interfere with plans we make, it is a fact of life. It happens to everyone.   

Cancelling dinner with a friend due to work commitments doesn’t make me a bad friend.   

You can’t please everyone all the time – that’s impossible. If the tables were turned and my   

friend did this to me, I wouldn’t think badly of them. As long as I show I care and want to   

still go out with them, then I am being a good friend.   

    

What advice would I give to a friend in this same situation?   

If they are a real friend, they will understand and get over it. They won’t think badly. If they   

are disappointed it is probably because they think you are a good friend and want to spend   

time with you. Being disappointed about not spending time with you doesn’t mean they think   

you are a bad friend, or are upset with you as a person.   

    

What would be more helpful behavior I could carry out?   

Instead of being overly apologetic and overly keen to make it up, I can just explain the   

Circumstances, apologies once or even twice, and re-schedule our plans for a time that suits us   

both. I don’t have to grovel or bend over backwards to prove I am a good friend.   

    

A more balanced evaluation of myself is:   

I am being the best friend I can be under the circumstances. My friends have told me they   

value me, that must mean I am a good friend. I am generally considerate to my friends and   

never set out to hurt people. Disappointing this friend was beyond my control. Unfortunately,   

you can’t make everyone happy all the time.   

    

How much do I believe my original   

negative self-evaluation now (0-100%scale) 35%   

    

How intense are my emotions now (0-100%)?   

Guilt (45%); Depressed (20%)   

*Now maybe you like to have a wowrksheet to practice like Jhon – to get the worksheet visit article Free Printable self esteem worksheet-   

and  wish you all the best ….   

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