What cause low self esteem in us

How  low self esteem develop in us and we become its prisoner

Here we will know what cause low self esteem in us. how we develop low self esteem. . How we fall into a vicious cycle or In a loop of low self esteem.

Things that cause low self esteem -

there maybe lot other things beside past experinces to cause low self esteem in us. .But mainly our past experience has impact on our self esteem and why this is like that. (We will discuss about other causes of low self esteem in another article)

You may be wonder, Why we are having low self esteem, even when our present circumstances are opposite from those of our past negative experience.

People usually get some negative beliefs or seeds of low self esteem when they get negative experience in their childhood or adolescence. Such experiences may be:

• If a child is Punished all time ,or Neglected, or Abused all the time

• If parents expectation is too high -If parents are only focusing only on weakness of a child instead of his strength area .or comparing with other child or. If a child or teen begin to think no afford is good enough to satisfy his or her parents.
• Not Fitting In at Home or at School

how self esteem develop -or how these above things cause low self esteem .

People usually get some negative beliefs when they get negative experience in their childhood or adolescence. Because, as a young they probably can’t or unable to explain any incident differently. And they arrived at conclusion about themselves which is negative.

For instance, if a child or adolescent is bullied or criticized most of the time or If the parents, teachers or classmates focus only on the weakness instead of his good qualities or made fun. their child might also come to believe in some negative things about themselves. Say, one may believe that he is worthless or he is not good enough.

what happend negative belif grows -

When negative beliefs grow, to keep on functioning or to protect our self , we begin to develop strategy, rules, assumptions or guidelines for how we should live our lives. Aim is to guard and defend us from the truth of our negative core beliefs.

• May be we make rules like -”I must never make any mistakes.”
• May be we make assumptions like- “No matter what I do, it will never be good enough.”
• Rules and assumptions can also be combined, for example: “I must do everything I can to gain others’ approval because if I am criticized in any way, it means I am not acceptable.”

And this rules or assumptions create some behaviors and thus keep our negative core belief intact.

As long as we stick to our rules and assumptions, we might feel okay in our everyday lives, but our negative core beliefs remain intact and this continue to cause low self esteem .

related resorces:

there are some practical worksheets for these purpose . you can know about it in 6 worksheets on self esteem in module-2 article